Lingering hints of a time she had tried desperately to hold onto was now bringing her out of her paradise. She held on, tighter, to prevent herself from having to leave. She didn't want to leave. Her current calm was pleasing. She was caged in protection, away from anything that could harm her, right where she belonged.
Khushi's eyes slowly opened and took in her surroundings. She was caged in protection indeed. Arnav's arms had wrapped around her body, holding her to him. His head was buried into the top of her head and the soft fall of his breath disrupted the otherwise silent surrounding every few seconds. It was too dark for it be really day, but she knew it was the early hours of the morning. She couldn't - shouldn't- move.
Lifting her head ever so slightly, Khushi traced his face with her eyes.
The cheekbones, sharp and dominating. The lips, relaxed from their usually firm set. The hair, free from the constraints of gel. The beauty that was his face, far from everything she had named Laad Governor. It was very much Arnav at this moment. Very much the man she had hopelessly fell in love with.
She had done that. Fallen in love with him. She had become the daredevil of all times and fallen in love with Arnav Singh Raizada. After all this time, she stayed in the pit that she had fallen into. There were so many chances, so many ladders, that were offered to her so that she could climb out. They came first in the form of Shiv, then Monisha and Rohan, yet again with Rekha, and Mahesh. They were all there to help her out of the pit of love for Arnav Singh Raizada she had fallen into. So what held her back?
It was herself.
She didn't want to climb out. She had gotten used to being there, in the state of hopeless love. But why was she there alone? Hadn't he fallen too? Hadn't he, in the four months they spend together, felt something? Of course he had. But he had climbed out the first chance he got.
And it all made clear sense. Love made men vulnerable, it gave them a weakness, it gave them something that they couldn't go against. Arnav Singh Raizada was neither vulnerable, nor weak. He was an established man, in terms of business and emotions. Love had scared the living soul out of him. He was not used to feeling so out of control. So when a little rope was extended into the pit, he had grabbed at it. Unknowingly, unconciously.
Khushi had accepted this. It had taken time, but time was all she had in the past year. She had known their love wouldn't be easy. So Khushi held on. She stayed in the pit she had fallen into, all though she was alone there, she stayed. And that's where Mahesh didn't understand her. That's where Monisha and Rohan had lost her. And that's where Rekha had slowly started to understand her.
Arnav knew this too, in a way. He had promised her to the best of his extend. He had told her he would never be Shaitan, but had warned her he would be far from a Rajkumar. He would only be himself. He can only be himself.
But didn't he see? That was her Rajkumar! HE in his purest form was her Rajkumar. So of course, like most woman, Khushi had felt the urge to drag him back into the pit she was alone in. But she had resisted.
That's why she had left him. That's why she had threatened him from ever trying to meet or contact her. That's why when Shiv came along, she had kept to herself. Because Arnav had to fall in love. Not be dragged in. He had to get used to feeling vulnerable, sometimes weak, for the sake of her.
Until now.
Now she was vulnerable, she was weak, everything was against her. And not in a good way. He couldn't -shouldn't- fall in love with her. She had stayed away for the sake of Shiv. Now she was back for the sake of Shiv. So she had to leave as soon as possible too. Stay away from him.
Hadn't she tried? Hadn't Devi Maiya had a good laugh at her life? Weren't the weavers of fate tired for her? Hadn't she tried to make her hate him? Didn't she tell him she wanted to leave? Then why? Why did he hold on to her? Why now?
She needed for him to let go. Now was not the time to hold on. Yet he held on. Almost like he had fallen into the pit he once ran away from. So here he was, lying next to her, wrapping his arms around her in a cage like restraint. Never letting her go.
So she stayed still. For him, she laid unmoving. Only looking at the face that was the sake her being. In this moment, everything was perfect. If only Shiv were here too. then she wouldn't mind, right at this moment, leaving forever.
Khushi squeezed her eyes shut.
---
Arnav woke up in the peace he had only read about. He woke up in the peace he had only dreamed off. He woke up in the peace that was only his.
Because not everybody woke up cradling an angel.
Khushi lay next to him, her body still tight in his grasp, her face pale, but breathing steady. Arnav frowned as he slowly moved her out of his arms, her absence already bothering him. Her face was too pale to be considered healthy. He had to get her some consultation. He also needed to talk.
He had to talk to her.
Trying not to wake her, he moved away from the bed, towards the bathroom. He had today to be with her. If she would listen, he had forever.
---
Payal rocked the body of the sleeping infant slowly. Shiv had noted the absence of his mother, waking her throughout the night. Akash had tried to help, but a mother needed its child. Shiv had finally fallen to the grasp of fatigue and fallen asleep in the wee hours of the morning.
She slowly opened the door of Arnav's room, wondering if Khushi was still there. Sure enough, Khushi lay sleeping, and she could hear the shower water indicating Arnav in the bathroom. Careful not to wake her sister, Payal slowly placed Shiv into the crook between Khushi's body and arm. And she watched as Khushi unconsciously wrapped an arm around her infant, ever the mother bear.
Smiling, Payal left the room.
---
Arnav noticed Shiv right before he was walking out, giving Khushi a parting look. When had the little one ended up here? Payal must have brought him in. Khushi's arm was wrapped around her infant protectively, and the little one snuggled comfortably into her warmth. Some may have called the moment picture perfect. And that is probably why Arnav absentmindedly pulled out his phone and captured the moment.
Then he slowly made his way to mother and child. Leaning down, he stroked the face of his son, and planted a kiss on the cheek that was visible, the rest of his body snuggled into Khushi. Arnav then brushed away a stray lock of hair bothering Khushi's cheek and placed a soft kiss on her forehead, careful not to wake her.
----
Mahesh sat up on the lounger he had fallen asleep on. Stretching tiredly, he looked at the file that lay open on the ground.
Khushi's file.
Khushi Kumari Gupta; 22; Congenital Heart Disease
Transplant Required; Donor Unavailable.
Mahesh read the second sentence over and over again. Transplant Required; Donor Unavailable. Breathing in slowly, he stood and walked towards the window, the morning sun warming him.
Transplant Required; Donor Unavailable.
Sighing, he picked up his phone. The phone was answered on the third ring, as per always. The voice on the other line, breathed life into him, bringing him out of his emotional tangle. But not for long.
"Good morning, Mahesh." The voice whispered.
"Rekha." He sighed, closing his eyes.
"I love you too." She whispered before muffling her giggles.
Mahesh smiled. "I love you."
"Then please be honest with Khushi." Was her quiet reply.
"Rekha, you can't-"
"It's my life!"
"No it's not! Not anymore!"
"Mahesh..."
"I'm sorry. I'm just... I can't Rekha, I can't." His voice broke, emotion crackling through.
"Shh, Mahesh, please don't." Her own voice broke. Staggering in a deep breathe, she spoke again, more confidently. "You don't have to tell her the details. Just the basics."
"Rekha-"
"My decision has been made, Mahesh." She spoke slowly, enunciating each word.
Mahesh shut his eyes, refusing to let anymore emotions to shake him.
"Please get her to Mumbai as soon as possible." She whispered, the reality finally dawning on her.
Arnav and Khushi's Story
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Friday, September 21, 2012
In Lamhon Ke Daaman Mein : An OS/ Interlude to Consequences
His breathe. Warm and intoxicating, it fell along the valley of her neck, giving its own kiss to sooth her burning skin before his lips came lighting the exact spot back on fire.
Her breath. Ragged and enchanting, lured him down further, though he had wanted to respect her wishes about waiting till marriage. No he couldn't stop, not now. They were married, for all her cared. Bound together by strings of faith if not by the strings of the mangalsutra he had tied around her neck.
It was all material promises anyway. The ring, the mehendi, the sindoor, the mangalsutra. They meant nothing for him. He had already made her his, and she had already made him her's. He had promised her everything, especially more than anything that seven pheres would offer her. He had made her his in all ways which mattered to him. If not by the bonds of the Gods she believed in, they had united by bonds of love in which she - and now he- believed in.
That was all that was necessary. She was all that was necessary.
Her fingers curled around the sweater he wore, the sudden feeling of desire scaring her. Yet she wanted it. She wanted to take the risk, plunge into the ecstasy it offered, and lose herself to him. Not that she hadn't already, yet somehow every moment she spend with him gave him more of her. And he unknowingly took, feeding on the love she radiated, so she held her stance.
Moving her body up slowly, she kissed him on the cheek. Slow and lingering, she let herself enjoy the sensations that shook her to her core. He had given her so much, she had to return something. Mustering everything she had, her lips moved down to the ones they so desperately wished to meet. He made no move, held steady and let her make the decision. The confidence evaded her and she hid into the comforts of his chest, hiding herself.
Yet the fire had been lighted and the flames were only being fed. In a matter of minutes, they were back where they started. Drinking in each other's breaths as they moved closer and closer. He wanted all of her. She wanted all of him.
His hand moved slowly, snaking a blazing trail along her bare back. His fingers connected with her dori and he pulled it, slowly, letting her know what was waiting. The flames had consumed them, charring any thoughts of the virtues she so dearly held onto.
She brought herself as close as she could, her eyes resting on his lips in anticipation. He had to take the lead now and he so gladly did. Never breaking the gaze he moved in, decreasing the inches that kept them apart for so long.
The most beautiful things in life were not seen, but felt.
And he reached the oasis he so desperately seeked. She fell into the ecstasy of the feelings that only he could conjure. Their lips met, greeting each other with the warmth and affection only lovers shared.
They were lovers indeed. Bound by everything they held dear. She thanked her Devi for him, she thanked the weavers of faith. He thanked his Devi, the one that had so readily fought to be with him. He would worship her tonight, every night. For once in his life, he had found someone to have faith in.
As the fire turned into inferno, all coherent thoughts leaving them both, they functioned only on the raw sense of passion. As his hands removed everything that hid her from him, no objection or signs of hesitation visible from her side, she let herself receive what he had to offer. They both took as much as the other gave.
For in the folds of the moments that followed, only the intimacy of star crossed lovers resonated. The radiance of their affection, charring everything in its path.
Her breath. Ragged and enchanting, lured him down further, though he had wanted to respect her wishes about waiting till marriage. No he couldn't stop, not now. They were married, for all her cared. Bound together by strings of faith if not by the strings of the mangalsutra he had tied around her neck.
It was all material promises anyway. The ring, the mehendi, the sindoor, the mangalsutra. They meant nothing for him. He had already made her his, and she had already made him her's. He had promised her everything, especially more than anything that seven pheres would offer her. He had made her his in all ways which mattered to him. If not by the bonds of the Gods she believed in, they had united by bonds of love in which she - and now he- believed in.
That was all that was necessary. She was all that was necessary.
Her fingers curled around the sweater he wore, the sudden feeling of desire scaring her. Yet she wanted it. She wanted to take the risk, plunge into the ecstasy it offered, and lose herself to him. Not that she hadn't already, yet somehow every moment she spend with him gave him more of her. And he unknowingly took, feeding on the love she radiated, so she held her stance.
Moving her body up slowly, she kissed him on the cheek. Slow and lingering, she let herself enjoy the sensations that shook her to her core. He had given her so much, she had to return something. Mustering everything she had, her lips moved down to the ones they so desperately wished to meet. He made no move, held steady and let her make the decision. The confidence evaded her and she hid into the comforts of his chest, hiding herself.
Yet the fire had been lighted and the flames were only being fed. In a matter of minutes, they were back where they started. Drinking in each other's breaths as they moved closer and closer. He wanted all of her. She wanted all of him.
His hand moved slowly, snaking a blazing trail along her bare back. His fingers connected with her dori and he pulled it, slowly, letting her know what was waiting. The flames had consumed them, charring any thoughts of the virtues she so dearly held onto.
She brought herself as close as she could, her eyes resting on his lips in anticipation. He had to take the lead now and he so gladly did. Never breaking the gaze he moved in, decreasing the inches that kept them apart for so long.
The most beautiful things in life were not seen, but felt.
And he reached the oasis he so desperately seeked. She fell into the ecstasy of the feelings that only he could conjure. Their lips met, greeting each other with the warmth and affection only lovers shared.
They were lovers indeed. Bound by everything they held dear. She thanked her Devi for him, she thanked the weavers of faith. He thanked his Devi, the one that had so readily fought to be with him. He would worship her tonight, every night. For once in his life, he had found someone to have faith in.
As the fire turned into inferno, all coherent thoughts leaving them both, they functioned only on the raw sense of passion. As his hands removed everything that hid her from him, no objection or signs of hesitation visible from her side, she let herself receive what he had to offer. They both took as much as the other gave.
For in the folds of the moments that followed, only the intimacy of star crossed lovers resonated. The radiance of their affection, charring everything in its path.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Chapter 20: War
"I have a few questions." The fast moving figure stopped in his tracks and he turned, slowly.
Lunch had been quiet. Mahesh had opted to eat upstairs in the room- Arnav's, he had learned- in which Khushi slept. She had awakened briefly to inhale her food and medicines and then had returned to her land of oblivion: sleeping. After that, he had met a few members of the family, including the infamous Shyam, and then spent some time with Shiv. He had passed on dinner and now after midnight, he had walked down to wait for the man he hadn't seen since the morning.
"Welcome to the club." Was Arnav's only response. Mahesh couldn't quite measure him nor decipher him. He momentarily zoned out as a memory lingered.
***
"So how did you figure him out? Solve the puzzle?"
"My husband is not a man to be measured, Mahesh." Khushi said, avoiding the question.
"You're interesting, you know?"
"Why do you say so?" She looked up to meet his eyes.
"You said your 'husband is' not was..." He watched her face as she processed what he had stated.
Nothing but the tick of the clock on the wall of the room spoke as Khushi remained fixed in her position, her eyes distant.
"Because he is." Was the silent reply that came from her side of the room after nearly three minutes. "He still is."
***
"I guess we have that in common, don't we?" Mahesh asked, standing to face Arnav Singh Raizada in all his angry young man glory.
"What's the need for us to find anything in common?" Arnav's reply was curt, slightly annoyed even.
"Similarities are what binds people together. It lays the basic foundation for understanding between people." Mahesh said coolly.
Arnav paused. Summing up the man before him, he spoke again. "I must say, your theory is flawed. Differences bind people just as strongly... sometimes more strongly than their similarities."
Mahesh smiled. "I guess that explains the case between you and Khushi, right? The case where differences overpower similarities to create some kind of unbreakable, everlasting bond?"
"Why are we having this conversation, Mahesh?"
"Khushi always strikes a cord with you doesn't it?" Mahesh said suddenly too calm for his own liking.
"That's not an answer to my question..."
"If I'm not mistaken, I too am overdue on an answer." Mahesh replied, facing Arnav and crossing his arms across his chest.
Arnav was composed. He tucked his hands into his pockets and faced Mahesh with a slight tilt to his head.
"Where's Khushi?" Arnav asked, knowing the answer to his question beforehand.
"Oh, so you care now? It didn't seem like it when you ran out the road this morning."
Arnav gritted his teeth. "I've always cared." His voice was low, a warning to Mahesh to not push it.
Little did Arnav Singh Raizada know, Mahesh was a daredevil. "Right... Was that before or after you forced her to leave the house? Oh yes, lets not forget she was pregnant!" Mahesh's tone was sarcastic, mocking the faults on Arnav's side.
"I asked her to come back! She didn't and I had to give up." Arnav's voice shot up two octaves before he squeezed his eyes shirt and clenched his fists in pockets.
"Ahh yes. The great Arnav Singh Raizada gave up without a fight." Mahesh slurred his words, teasing Arnav in ways he wasn't used to.
"I pleaded. Then she threatened me using the my only weakness: herself. I had to give up, do you understand? I had to!" Arnav's gaze bore into him, emotions that only a man who had been in similar circumstances could understand.
Mahesh's defiance slowly ebbed away. He dropped his hands and turned slowly away when Arnav's voice stopped him.
"You don't know anything. She may have told you everything, but you know nothing." Arnav's voice was slow, understanding one daresay. Almost as if he was compassionate towards Mahesh for not making sense of how they functioned..
"And here we are again, Raizada. This time I should welcome you into the club." Mahesh turned fully in the opposite direction, his back to Arnav. "Even you know nothing."
---
Arnav watched the retreating body of the man had suddenly earned respect for. Not many came and gave Arnav a fight worth fighting. And Mahesh knew how to fight. Suave in his manner, one except his opponent would never guess his defiance. Arnav shifted his head up before turning and heading in the direction of Khushi's room. He missed his wife and son.
---
Mahesh sat in the one of the many chairs that were placed in the room he was offered. Arnav was a tough shell to crack. No actually he wasn't a shell, but more a force field. A membrane even. He wasn't supposed to crack him, but gain an entry in.
He leaned forward and rested his forehead on his fingertips. Wrong again. He didn't need to gain an entry. No, Khushi had done that. Arnav wasn't Mahesh's force field to defy, but rather his force field to comprehend. Arnav's biggest problem wasn't that he held so much away from other people, Mahesh concluded, it was that he unknowingly held much away from himself too.
Mahesh sighed as he settled back into the chair. If anything was obvious, it was Arnav's love for Khushi. How the two worked would be something that Mahesh would never understand. Something he could do, however, was lead Arnav to the facts before him that he had overlooked.
But how would he do it...?
How did he tell him this? How did he tell this man that the woman he had been fighting for, for so long was losing her fight against fate? How did he tell a man to prepare for being the loser again in this game of life?
No, but Arnav Singh Raizada wouldn't go without a fight. He would wage a war. But would he wage war against the right enemy? There was no polite manners in the way Arnav regarded Mahesh and Mahesh knew that Arnav was once again misunderstanding. He had misunderstood Mahesh's role in the play. How was he going to do this without the help of Khushi?
Mahesh sighed. This was going to be a long night...
---
Arnav walked to the crib to find it empty. Looking around, he saw the bed was empty too. Panic rose in him and a familiar feeling unrest settled in his chest as he walked out of the room. Khushi couldn't have left.. Again? No... Arnav quickened his pace and almost banged into the sleepy figure of Payal in the hallway.
"Arnav-ji?"
"Payal! Where's Khushi? Shiv?" His voice was poorly hiding the panic.
Payal scrunched her eyes momentarily and relaxed them as a slow smile played on her lips. "Relax, Shiv is sleeping with Akashji and I today. And Khushi is where you left her this morning." Giving a parting smile, Payal continued on her way to her room. Arnav then noticed the bottle of milk in her hand and let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding.
It would be inappropriate to bug Payal now to see Shiv. Arnav smiled, almost victoriously, as he registered the latter part of Payal's message. Khushi was where he left her this morning, eh? He walked to his room with a new purpose in his movement.
Arnav opened the door to his room silently, not wanting to disturb the angel that was curled up on the side of his bed. Shutting the door, he turned to face the angel. His angel.
The full light of the moon from the poolside bathed the room in enough light for him to see her glowing complexion. Their conversation the past night, which had bothered him all day, lost all importance as it evaporated from his thoughts. She was confused. He would make her see sense. He wasn't letting her go this time.
Moving to his bathroom, Arnav dressed and showered for bed. Ever so silently, he moved under the covers and next to Khushi. He moved closer, gently scooping her up onto his chest. Obviously lost in the land of sleep, Khushi welcomed the warmth of Arnav's body and snuggled in, not forgetting to grab a fistful of his shirt in her hand.
Nirvana, at last. Arnav smiled. He was rejoined with his soul, free of hurt, free of suffering. Burying his nose into the tangled net of her hair, Arnav breathed in, rejoicing.
Khushi snuggled in deeper, her face tilting up and the bridge of her nose buried into the space where Arnav's neck and collarbone met. Arnav clutched her closer, her waist seeming smaller and more fragile in his grasp.
She wouldn't be pleased when she woke up, he knew. Or would she be? Would this remind her of the reason she came back? Would she care to give him, yet again, another chance? Arnav held her closer. Now wasn't the time to think of tomorrow. He had spent too much of his life looking forward or dwelling on the past, but never quite living in the moment. This was his time to live, because for once, his present was perfect and uninterrupted.
It had been a long year for them both. However this... This was nirvana indeed.
Suddenly, his path was clear. No doubts, no questions. Whoever this Mahesh was, he had to go. He wouldn't go without a fight, Arnav knew. They never did. But Arnav Singh Raizada was ready to wage war against anyone or anything that would take Khushi away from him.
Little did Arnav Singh Raizada know, Mahesh was hardly worthy of the blame.
Lunch had been quiet. Mahesh had opted to eat upstairs in the room- Arnav's, he had learned- in which Khushi slept. She had awakened briefly to inhale her food and medicines and then had returned to her land of oblivion: sleeping. After that, he had met a few members of the family, including the infamous Shyam, and then spent some time with Shiv. He had passed on dinner and now after midnight, he had walked down to wait for the man he hadn't seen since the morning.
"Welcome to the club." Was Arnav's only response. Mahesh couldn't quite measure him nor decipher him. He momentarily zoned out as a memory lingered.
***
"So how did you figure him out? Solve the puzzle?"
"My husband is not a man to be measured, Mahesh." Khushi said, avoiding the question.
"You're interesting, you know?"
"Why do you say so?" She looked up to meet his eyes.
"You said your 'husband is' not was..." He watched her face as she processed what he had stated.
Nothing but the tick of the clock on the wall of the room spoke as Khushi remained fixed in her position, her eyes distant.
"Because he is." Was the silent reply that came from her side of the room after nearly three minutes. "He still is."
***
"I guess we have that in common, don't we?" Mahesh asked, standing to face Arnav Singh Raizada in all his angry young man glory.
"What's the need for us to find anything in common?" Arnav's reply was curt, slightly annoyed even.
"Similarities are what binds people together. It lays the basic foundation for understanding between people." Mahesh said coolly.
Arnav paused. Summing up the man before him, he spoke again. "I must say, your theory is flawed. Differences bind people just as strongly... sometimes more strongly than their similarities."
Mahesh smiled. "I guess that explains the case between you and Khushi, right? The case where differences overpower similarities to create some kind of unbreakable, everlasting bond?"
"Why are we having this conversation, Mahesh?"
"Khushi always strikes a cord with you doesn't it?" Mahesh said suddenly too calm for his own liking.
"That's not an answer to my question..."
"If I'm not mistaken, I too am overdue on an answer." Mahesh replied, facing Arnav and crossing his arms across his chest.
Arnav was composed. He tucked his hands into his pockets and faced Mahesh with a slight tilt to his head.
"Where's Khushi?" Arnav asked, knowing the answer to his question beforehand.
"Oh, so you care now? It didn't seem like it when you ran out the road this morning."
Arnav gritted his teeth. "I've always cared." His voice was low, a warning to Mahesh to not push it.
Little did Arnav Singh Raizada know, Mahesh was a daredevil. "Right... Was that before or after you forced her to leave the house? Oh yes, lets not forget she was pregnant!" Mahesh's tone was sarcastic, mocking the faults on Arnav's side.
"I asked her to come back! She didn't and I had to give up." Arnav's voice shot up two octaves before he squeezed his eyes shirt and clenched his fists in pockets.
"Ahh yes. The great Arnav Singh Raizada gave up without a fight." Mahesh slurred his words, teasing Arnav in ways he wasn't used to.
"I pleaded. Then she threatened me using the my only weakness: herself. I had to give up, do you understand? I had to!" Arnav's gaze bore into him, emotions that only a man who had been in similar circumstances could understand.
Mahesh's defiance slowly ebbed away. He dropped his hands and turned slowly away when Arnav's voice stopped him.
"You don't know anything. She may have told you everything, but you know nothing." Arnav's voice was slow, understanding one daresay. Almost as if he was compassionate towards Mahesh for not making sense of how they functioned..
"And here we are again, Raizada. This time I should welcome you into the club." Mahesh turned fully in the opposite direction, his back to Arnav. "Even you know nothing."
---
Arnav watched the retreating body of the man had suddenly earned respect for. Not many came and gave Arnav a fight worth fighting. And Mahesh knew how to fight. Suave in his manner, one except his opponent would never guess his defiance. Arnav shifted his head up before turning and heading in the direction of Khushi's room. He missed his wife and son.
---
Mahesh sat in the one of the many chairs that were placed in the room he was offered. Arnav was a tough shell to crack. No actually he wasn't a shell, but more a force field. A membrane even. He wasn't supposed to crack him, but gain an entry in.
He leaned forward and rested his forehead on his fingertips. Wrong again. He didn't need to gain an entry. No, Khushi had done that. Arnav wasn't Mahesh's force field to defy, but rather his force field to comprehend. Arnav's biggest problem wasn't that he held so much away from other people, Mahesh concluded, it was that he unknowingly held much away from himself too.
Mahesh sighed as he settled back into the chair. If anything was obvious, it was Arnav's love for Khushi. How the two worked would be something that Mahesh would never understand. Something he could do, however, was lead Arnav to the facts before him that he had overlooked.
But how would he do it...?
How did he tell him this? How did he tell this man that the woman he had been fighting for, for so long was losing her fight against fate? How did he tell a man to prepare for being the loser again in this game of life?
No, but Arnav Singh Raizada wouldn't go without a fight. He would wage a war. But would he wage war against the right enemy? There was no polite manners in the way Arnav regarded Mahesh and Mahesh knew that Arnav was once again misunderstanding. He had misunderstood Mahesh's role in the play. How was he going to do this without the help of Khushi?
Mahesh sighed. This was going to be a long night...
---
Arnav walked to the crib to find it empty. Looking around, he saw the bed was empty too. Panic rose in him and a familiar feeling unrest settled in his chest as he walked out of the room. Khushi couldn't have left.. Again? No... Arnav quickened his pace and almost banged into the sleepy figure of Payal in the hallway.
"Arnav-ji?"
"Payal! Where's Khushi? Shiv?" His voice was poorly hiding the panic.
Payal scrunched her eyes momentarily and relaxed them as a slow smile played on her lips. "Relax, Shiv is sleeping with Akashji and I today. And Khushi is where you left her this morning." Giving a parting smile, Payal continued on her way to her room. Arnav then noticed the bottle of milk in her hand and let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding.
It would be inappropriate to bug Payal now to see Shiv. Arnav smiled, almost victoriously, as he registered the latter part of Payal's message. Khushi was where he left her this morning, eh? He walked to his room with a new purpose in his movement.
Arnav opened the door to his room silently, not wanting to disturb the angel that was curled up on the side of his bed. Shutting the door, he turned to face the angel. His angel.
The full light of the moon from the poolside bathed the room in enough light for him to see her glowing complexion. Their conversation the past night, which had bothered him all day, lost all importance as it evaporated from his thoughts. She was confused. He would make her see sense. He wasn't letting her go this time.
Moving to his bathroom, Arnav dressed and showered for bed. Ever so silently, he moved under the covers and next to Khushi. He moved closer, gently scooping her up onto his chest. Obviously lost in the land of sleep, Khushi welcomed the warmth of Arnav's body and snuggled in, not forgetting to grab a fistful of his shirt in her hand.
Nirvana, at last. Arnav smiled. He was rejoined with his soul, free of hurt, free of suffering. Burying his nose into the tangled net of her hair, Arnav breathed in, rejoicing.
Khushi snuggled in deeper, her face tilting up and the bridge of her nose buried into the space where Arnav's neck and collarbone met. Arnav clutched her closer, her waist seeming smaller and more fragile in his grasp.
She wouldn't be pleased when she woke up, he knew. Or would she be? Would this remind her of the reason she came back? Would she care to give him, yet again, another chance? Arnav held her closer. Now wasn't the time to think of tomorrow. He had spent too much of his life looking forward or dwelling on the past, but never quite living in the moment. This was his time to live, because for once, his present was perfect and uninterrupted.
It had been a long year for them both. However this... This was nirvana indeed.
Suddenly, his path was clear. No doubts, no questions. Whoever this Mahesh was, he had to go. He wouldn't go without a fight, Arnav knew. They never did. But Arnav Singh Raizada was ready to wage war against anyone or anything that would take Khushi away from him.
Little did Arnav Singh Raizada know, Mahesh was hardly worthy of the blame.
Friday, August 17, 2012
Chapter 19: Inferno
"Payalji, have you seen Arnav?"
Payal smiled at Mahesh, pleased with the title of respect he had endeared her with. "He's gone out. I'm guessing he went to the office, he's a busy man." Payal had seen the way Arnav left the house. In the past year, the tornado like ways he left the house was a regular occurance, which usually happened when something angered him. However, she couldn't quite scare the guest with this info, so she offered a white lie.
"Hmm..." Mahesh's eyes looked far away.
"Would you like breakfast?" Payal offered.
"I was quite hungry, so I ate before I came here." Mahesh offered a sheepish grin. Payal smiled again, taking a liking to the gentle, honest man which stood before her.
"If you don't mind me asking, how do you know Khushi?" Payal asked the man. He raised his eyebrows ever so slightly before answering.
"My mother delivered Shiv. Khushi and we got to know each other like that." Mahesh watched as an expression of gratitude settled on Payal's face. He had lied, and he hated it, but he couldn't tell Payal how they had really met. Khushi had to do that. And before Payal could ask anymore questions from which he would be forced to lie again, Mahesh asked to be excused. "I'm going to keep Khushi some company. We need to catch up." Payal nodded, understanding the man wasn't ready for an interrogation.
---
Mahesh stepped into the room to find a Khushi that was fast asleep. He smiled at her childlike tendencies then frowned when he remembered that he hadn't seen Shiv. Another smile replaced his frown when he remembered that Shiv must be the center of attention at the household and that he was probably not going to see him till lunch.
Not knowing what to do with himself anymore, Mahesh walked out to the poolside.
---
The smell hit him just like the flood of memories did. It had been a while since he had let himself indulge on those memories, so he allowed himself to do so this time. Away from work, away from people, he let himself be carried away to a time almost ten years ago.
He breathed in the scent, smiling. Jasmine. Or as she had said: Mulla Poove.
---
His mother was always sending him out for things like this. No matter how many workers they had, she wanted him to take care of these "special things". Frowning, he looked at the list in his hands. Various names of flowers were scribbled upon the paper his mother had given him.
Walking to the flower vendor, he had been distracted by a quarrel between a vendor and a customer, when she happened.
Rekha.
Mahesh closed his eyes, slowly, remembering every moment. "Aiyoo!" She had screamed! Turning around from the flower vendor, she had collided with his body, sending the jasmine buds she held flying around them.
Her black eyes widened, her mouth opening in a sad frown, as she watched the flower buds go flying around them. Her beauty was exceptional. Black eyes lined with kajol, hair which was pinned back half way, and a slender body with pronounced curves. He couldn't help but smile at the way in which she reacted, resembling a child who had dropped its ice cream cone.
"Ente mulla poove muzhuvan kallanjanttu, nokki chirikkuvano than?" She blasted at him in an alien tongue, as her sad frown deepened.
He stared at her, still unable to remove the smile on his face. "Kya?" He said gently.
She bit her tongue, catching her mistake before speaking in Hindi. "I mean, you caused me to drop my flowers and you're standing here smiling?"
"Oh..." He was mesmerized by the way her accent changed, and how she spoke in fluent Hindi, her tongue speaking both languages in the most beautiful fashion.
She stared at him as if he was crazy before he quickly responded. "I'm sorry, really, that was my fault. Let me buy you some since its my mistake!"
"No, no, that's not necessary. The sorry was enough." She responded, her smile lighting up the space around her. It was magical.
"Please! I'll feel better if you allow me to do this..." Mahesh tried.
She hesitated but then smiled. "Okay."
He had bought her way more than she had dropped and again he watched as her eyes widened and she smiled, setting his world ablaze.
***
"YOU!" They both grinned at their unconventional greeting. "You're a doctor?" She asked suddenly, noticing Mahesh's attire.
"Yes, and are you a patient?" He smiled, replying.
Her eyes had lost their light then. "No, my father is..."
"What's your name?" It was impulsive and the wrong thing to say in reply, but Mahesh couldn't help it.
She looked taken back at his sudden outburst, but her eyes softened as she responded. "Rekha." She smiled. His world was burning now.
"Mahesh. Mahesh Sharma." He responded, mimicing her smile.
***
Jalte hain jiske liye... Teri aankhon ke diye...
She smiled at his mother before continuing.
Dhoond laya hoon wahi geet main tere liye...
Their eyes met in a way it had never before met. Magnetic, exhilarating, explosive, there was simply no way to explain it. This time his world -he- was enveloped in an inferno.
Jalte hain jiske liye, teri aankhon ke diye
Dhoond laya hoon wahi geet main tere liya
His mother joined in with her, emitting a beautiful symphony. Their eyes never broke. His mother's eyes were rested on years far away. Yet, they continued.
Payal smiled at Mahesh, pleased with the title of respect he had endeared her with. "He's gone out. I'm guessing he went to the office, he's a busy man." Payal had seen the way Arnav left the house. In the past year, the tornado like ways he left the house was a regular occurance, which usually happened when something angered him. However, she couldn't quite scare the guest with this info, so she offered a white lie.
"Hmm..." Mahesh's eyes looked far away.
"Would you like breakfast?" Payal offered.
"I was quite hungry, so I ate before I came here." Mahesh offered a sheepish grin. Payal smiled again, taking a liking to the gentle, honest man which stood before her.
"If you don't mind me asking, how do you know Khushi?" Payal asked the man. He raised his eyebrows ever so slightly before answering.
"My mother delivered Shiv. Khushi and we got to know each other like that." Mahesh watched as an expression of gratitude settled on Payal's face. He had lied, and he hated it, but he couldn't tell Payal how they had really met. Khushi had to do that. And before Payal could ask anymore questions from which he would be forced to lie again, Mahesh asked to be excused. "I'm going to keep Khushi some company. We need to catch up." Payal nodded, understanding the man wasn't ready for an interrogation.
---
Mahesh stepped into the room to find a Khushi that was fast asleep. He smiled at her childlike tendencies then frowned when he remembered that he hadn't seen Shiv. Another smile replaced his frown when he remembered that Shiv must be the center of attention at the household and that he was probably not going to see him till lunch.
Not knowing what to do with himself anymore, Mahesh walked out to the poolside.
---
The smell hit him just like the flood of memories did. It had been a while since he had let himself indulge on those memories, so he allowed himself to do so this time. Away from work, away from people, he let himself be carried away to a time almost ten years ago.
He breathed in the scent, smiling. Jasmine. Or as she had said: Mulla Poove.
---
His mother was always sending him out for things like this. No matter how many workers they had, she wanted him to take care of these "special things". Frowning, he looked at the list in his hands. Various names of flowers were scribbled upon the paper his mother had given him.
Walking to the flower vendor, he had been distracted by a quarrel between a vendor and a customer, when she happened.
Rekha.
Mahesh closed his eyes, slowly, remembering every moment. "Aiyoo!" She had screamed! Turning around from the flower vendor, she had collided with his body, sending the jasmine buds she held flying around them.
Her black eyes widened, her mouth opening in a sad frown, as she watched the flower buds go flying around them. Her beauty was exceptional. Black eyes lined with kajol, hair which was pinned back half way, and a slender body with pronounced curves. He couldn't help but smile at the way in which she reacted, resembling a child who had dropped its ice cream cone.
"Ente mulla poove muzhuvan kallanjanttu, nokki chirikkuvano than?" She blasted at him in an alien tongue, as her sad frown deepened.
He stared at her, still unable to remove the smile on his face. "Kya?" He said gently.
She bit her tongue, catching her mistake before speaking in Hindi. "I mean, you caused me to drop my flowers and you're standing here smiling?"
"Oh..." He was mesmerized by the way her accent changed, and how she spoke in fluent Hindi, her tongue speaking both languages in the most beautiful fashion.
She stared at him as if he was crazy before he quickly responded. "I'm sorry, really, that was my fault. Let me buy you some since its my mistake!"
"No, no, that's not necessary. The sorry was enough." She responded, her smile lighting up the space around her. It was magical.
"Please! I'll feel better if you allow me to do this..." Mahesh tried.
She hesitated but then smiled. "Okay."
He had bought her way more than she had dropped and again he watched as her eyes widened and she smiled, setting his world ablaze.
***
"YOU!" They both grinned at their unconventional greeting. "You're a doctor?" She asked suddenly, noticing Mahesh's attire.
"Yes, and are you a patient?" He smiled, replying.
Her eyes had lost their light then. "No, my father is..."
"What's your name?" It was impulsive and the wrong thing to say in reply, but Mahesh couldn't help it.
She looked taken back at his sudden outburst, but her eyes softened as she responded. "Rekha." She smiled. His world was burning now.
"Mahesh. Mahesh Sharma." He responded, mimicing her smile.
***
Jalte hain jiske liye... Teri aankhon ke diye...
She smiled at his mother before continuing.
Dhoond laya hoon wahi geet main tere liye...
Their eyes met in a way it had never before met. Magnetic, exhilarating, explosive, there was simply no way to explain it. This time his world -he- was enveloped in an inferno.
Jalte hain jiske liye, teri aankhon ke diye
Dhoond laya hoon wahi geet main tere liya
His mother joined in with her, emitting a beautiful symphony. Their eyes never broke. His mother's eyes were rested on years far away. Yet, they continued.
Jab talak na yeh tere ras ke bhare hontoon se mile,
Yunhi awara phirega yeh teri zulfon ke tale...
Jab talak na yeh tere ras ke bhare hontoon se mile, Yunhi awara phirega yeh teri zulfon ke tale...
Gaye jaunga yehi geet main tere liye...
---
Rekha.
Mahesh opened his eyes, smiling at the pot in which the jamine shrub stood, emitting her scent.
Turning around he smiled at the sleeping figure inside.
Khushi.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
***The song mentioned in this chapter is this.
Rekha
Rekha #2
Mahesh
Please listen to the song! It's one of my all time favorites! I'm aware the original is by a male,
but I liked the female version for this story. Also, the language spoken by Rekha is Malayalam.
I am half Malayalee, so I thought I would use it to my advantage. Eheheh :)
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Chapter 18: Road Not Taken
Arnav was awakened by the doorbell. Opening his eyes, he found himself exactly where he was last night. Right next to Khushi, with her hand still trapped in his, he had dozed to sleep. He was surprised Di hadn't bothered him about eating dinner.
Khushi's face looked more peaceful than it had last night Arnav noticed. Her sedative would wear off soon and she would be hungry, so he headed down to fix a tray of breakfast for her.
---
Payal looked at the man that stood before her. Dressed in a crisp black shirt and jeans, he looked like some bollywood actor that Payal couldn't quite put her finger on.
"Ji, Kaun?" Payal inquired.
The man smiled, definitely a very attractive smile, and replied. "I'm from Mumbai. My name is Mahesh and I'm here to meet Khushi."
Payal's face lit up at the mention of someone that knew Khushi, but fell as she remembered Khushi's predicament. Trying to remember her manners, Payal smiled. "Come in please."
"Thank you." The man stepped in and took a look around the house. "I'm sorry, I didn't get your name." He directed to Payal.
"Payal. I'm Khushi's elder sister." She smiled.
Mahesh's face lit up almost as in recognition. "Oh you're Payal! Khushi's told me about you."
Payal's face fell again slightly at the mention of Khushi. "Would you like chai?" She asked.
"A glass of water is fine." Mahesh could tell something was off, as Payal's face fell ever so slightly at every mention of Khushi.
"Ji, please make yourself comfortable."
---
Khushi shifted slightly in bed, her head heavy from whatever drug had been put in her. She squeezed her eyes shut at the sudden intrusion of light before she slowly opened her eyes again. Her face visibly paled when she saw who had opened the curtains.
"Good morning. How are you feeling?" Arnav said, looking relieved. Khushi merely blinked in response.
"I'll go get breakfast. You look like you could use some food." Arnav tried again. Khushi dropped her eyes and nodded, glad that he wasn't expecting an answer. Silently, Arnav left the room.
Khushi watched him leave and her eyes welled up. What was going on? Why was he treating her like this after what she had sprung at him last night? Suddenly realization struck her. What had happened to her last night? She looked around her surroundings to find her in Arnav's room, lying in the middle of the bed. There was a band aid at the crease of her elbow where someone had injected something. Khushi's head ached as she tried to put together fragments of the previous night.
---
Mahesh saw the figure walk down the stairs it noticed him. He stood up to his full height, instantly recognizing the man as Arnav Singh Raizada.
Arnav furrowed his brows in confusion before heading to the kitchen, clearly not bothered that there was a stranger in his living room. At that instant Payal came out with a glass of water for the guest.
"Oh Payal!" Arnav stopped in his tracks. "Could you put together a tray of food for Khushi? She's awake now."
Payal smiled, suddenly resembling Khushi in all her ecstatic glory. "Saach? I'll do it right now."
Arnav nodded with a slight smile before turning to head back up the stairs, but Payal stopped him.
"Arnavji?" Arnav turned. "This is Mahesh. He says he's from Mumbai and here to meet Khushi." Payal said as she handed the glass of water the the man.
Arnav's face suddenly registered the man before him, clearly interested in his connection to Khushi.
"Hi, Arnav Singh Raizada." He held his hand out which Mahesh took with a confident grasp and shook.
"Mahesh Sharma." He smiled.
That's when it hit Payal. He definitely had something about him that resembled Shah Rukh Kahn, yet he wasn't completely like that. Shaking her head at herself, Payal left the room, so the two men could talk.
"Payal says you're here to see Khushi? Do you know her from Mumbai?" Arnav asked as he took a seat across from Mahesh.
"Yes, we met there. Is she here?"
Arnav's face looked calculated as he took in the information. "Yes, well, Khushi is upstairs."
"Is something wrong?" The way Mahesh showed concern bothered Arnav. Who is this man?
"Khushi had a slight accident yesterday. Her blood pressure decreased and she fainted. She's fine now." Arnav said taking in Mahesh's expression's as he shared the information.
Mahesh was agitated, but he controlled his outward appearance. "Low blood pressure..." He murmured, almost to himself. Suddenly standing up, he looked at Arnav. "Do you mind if I meet her?"
The only way he was going to figure out who this man was, was though Khushi. Arnav nodded and led him upstairs. Just as he was about to enter the room, Payal called out from behind him.
"She's on the first door to your left." Arnav said to Mahesh, before he went to Payal to get the tray of breakfast she had brought. Not waiting for Arnav, Mahesh entered the room.
---
Khushi looked up as the door opened and relief enveloped her like a warm blanket. "Mahesh!" She beamed. There he stood in all his "Shah Rukh Kahn-meets-Farhan Akhtar" glory.
"Khushi!" He smiled, offering a smile just as Khushi had. In four long strides, he crossed the room and enveloped Khushi into his arms.
Khushi wrapped her arms around him and her eyes welled up slightly. "I guess you got my text." She said.
"And you clearly didn't get any of mine! Do you know how many times I tried you before I jumped on a plane to Delhi, thinking of all the possible worst? And then I hear that you fainted!"
Mahesh took a seat on the chair next to the bed as he questioned Khushi, letting his frustration of the past 17 hours finally flow free.
---
Arnav stood at the doorway of his room taking in the scene. Mahesh had taken wrapped his arms around Khushi to which she responded with just as much enthusiasm.
Clenching his fist around the the tray he held, he turned and ordered Hari Prakash to take food to Khushi, before he stalked out of the house.
"Its wrong! We need to talk before anything more happens."
So that's why. Why it was wrong. Why she needed to talk.
"I'm here to get a divorce. The faster I get it, the faster I can go back."
Go back to what he had asked her. Why the divorce? It was all so clear now. She was going to go back to Mahesh Sharma. Arnav hated him. With every fiber in his body, Arnav hated the man that Khushi had so lovingly embraced back.
---
"Khushi, you didn't take your tablets did you?" Mahesh asked, concealing his frustration.
"Well the night I got here, it was kind of the last thing on my mind and yesterday morning, I got distracted and then..." Khushi trailed off, looking guilty as charged.
"I've told you so many times, Khushi! Take care of yourself! Atleast when we were in Mumbai, I could do it, and I thought you would be responsible here!"
"Let's go back, Mahesh." Khushi suddenly said.
"What?"
"I don't want to stay here. Every second, it's too much. And yesterday, I asked him for a divorce and he said no. I just want it all to go away." Khushi hung her head, tears making their mark on her cheek.
Then it occurred to Mahesh. "You haven't told him the truth, have you Khushi?" Mahesh's face was grim.
Khushi sighed. "No..." Suddenly she looked up at Mahesh, her eyes glinting. "You won't either! Promise me!" She grasped his hands in hers.
Mahesh smiled and ruffled her hair, his eyes looking pained. "Khushi, I promise to keep your life in a way it's best for you. I promise to always do what's best for you."
Khushi smiled. "Thank you Doctor Sharma."
"My pleasure, Mrs. Raizada." Mahesh responded as Hari Prakash entered with food.
"Eat up, Khushi. I'll be right back." Mahesh ordered.
---
Seeing that Khushi began eating, Mahesh headed out the room. He had to talk to Arnav.
Khushi's face looked more peaceful than it had last night Arnav noticed. Her sedative would wear off soon and she would be hungry, so he headed down to fix a tray of breakfast for her.
---
Payal looked at the man that stood before her. Dressed in a crisp black shirt and jeans, he looked like some bollywood actor that Payal couldn't quite put her finger on.
"Ji, Kaun?" Payal inquired.
The man smiled, definitely a very attractive smile, and replied. "I'm from Mumbai. My name is Mahesh and I'm here to meet Khushi."
Payal's face lit up at the mention of someone that knew Khushi, but fell as she remembered Khushi's predicament. Trying to remember her manners, Payal smiled. "Come in please."
"Thank you." The man stepped in and took a look around the house. "I'm sorry, I didn't get your name." He directed to Payal.
"Payal. I'm Khushi's elder sister." She smiled.
Mahesh's face lit up almost as in recognition. "Oh you're Payal! Khushi's told me about you."
Payal's face fell again slightly at the mention of Khushi. "Would you like chai?" She asked.
"A glass of water is fine." Mahesh could tell something was off, as Payal's face fell ever so slightly at every mention of Khushi.
"Ji, please make yourself comfortable."
---
Khushi shifted slightly in bed, her head heavy from whatever drug had been put in her. She squeezed her eyes shut at the sudden intrusion of light before she slowly opened her eyes again. Her face visibly paled when she saw who had opened the curtains.
"Good morning. How are you feeling?" Arnav said, looking relieved. Khushi merely blinked in response.
"I'll go get breakfast. You look like you could use some food." Arnav tried again. Khushi dropped her eyes and nodded, glad that he wasn't expecting an answer. Silently, Arnav left the room.
Khushi watched him leave and her eyes welled up. What was going on? Why was he treating her like this after what she had sprung at him last night? Suddenly realization struck her. What had happened to her last night? She looked around her surroundings to find her in Arnav's room, lying in the middle of the bed. There was a band aid at the crease of her elbow where someone had injected something. Khushi's head ached as she tried to put together fragments of the previous night.
---
Mahesh saw the figure walk down the stairs it noticed him. He stood up to his full height, instantly recognizing the man as Arnav Singh Raizada.
Arnav furrowed his brows in confusion before heading to the kitchen, clearly not bothered that there was a stranger in his living room. At that instant Payal came out with a glass of water for the guest.
"Oh Payal!" Arnav stopped in his tracks. "Could you put together a tray of food for Khushi? She's awake now."
Payal smiled, suddenly resembling Khushi in all her ecstatic glory. "Saach? I'll do it right now."
Arnav nodded with a slight smile before turning to head back up the stairs, but Payal stopped him.
"Arnavji?" Arnav turned. "This is Mahesh. He says he's from Mumbai and here to meet Khushi." Payal said as she handed the glass of water the the man.
Arnav's face suddenly registered the man before him, clearly interested in his connection to Khushi.
"Hi, Arnav Singh Raizada." He held his hand out which Mahesh took with a confident grasp and shook.
"Mahesh Sharma." He smiled.
That's when it hit Payal. He definitely had something about him that resembled Shah Rukh Kahn, yet he wasn't completely like that. Shaking her head at herself, Payal left the room, so the two men could talk.
"Payal says you're here to see Khushi? Do you know her from Mumbai?" Arnav asked as he took a seat across from Mahesh.
"Yes, we met there. Is she here?"
Arnav's face looked calculated as he took in the information. "Yes, well, Khushi is upstairs."
"Is something wrong?" The way Mahesh showed concern bothered Arnav. Who is this man?
"Khushi had a slight accident yesterday. Her blood pressure decreased and she fainted. She's fine now." Arnav said taking in Mahesh's expression's as he shared the information.
Mahesh was agitated, but he controlled his outward appearance. "Low blood pressure..." He murmured, almost to himself. Suddenly standing up, he looked at Arnav. "Do you mind if I meet her?"
The only way he was going to figure out who this man was, was though Khushi. Arnav nodded and led him upstairs. Just as he was about to enter the room, Payal called out from behind him.
"She's on the first door to your left." Arnav said to Mahesh, before he went to Payal to get the tray of breakfast she had brought. Not waiting for Arnav, Mahesh entered the room.
---
Khushi looked up as the door opened and relief enveloped her like a warm blanket. "Mahesh!" She beamed. There he stood in all his "Shah Rukh Kahn-meets-Farhan Akhtar" glory.
"Khushi!" He smiled, offering a smile just as Khushi had. In four long strides, he crossed the room and enveloped Khushi into his arms.
Khushi wrapped her arms around him and her eyes welled up slightly. "I guess you got my text." She said.
"And you clearly didn't get any of mine! Do you know how many times I tried you before I jumped on a plane to Delhi, thinking of all the possible worst? And then I hear that you fainted!"
Mahesh took a seat on the chair next to the bed as he questioned Khushi, letting his frustration of the past 17 hours finally flow free.
---
Arnav stood at the doorway of his room taking in the scene. Mahesh had taken wrapped his arms around Khushi to which she responded with just as much enthusiasm.
Clenching his fist around the the tray he held, he turned and ordered Hari Prakash to take food to Khushi, before he stalked out of the house.
"Its wrong! We need to talk before anything more happens."
So that's why. Why it was wrong. Why she needed to talk.
"I'm here to get a divorce. The faster I get it, the faster I can go back."
Go back to what he had asked her. Why the divorce? It was all so clear now. She was going to go back to Mahesh Sharma. Arnav hated him. With every fiber in his body, Arnav hated the man that Khushi had so lovingly embraced back.
---
"Khushi, you didn't take your tablets did you?" Mahesh asked, concealing his frustration.
"Well the night I got here, it was kind of the last thing on my mind and yesterday morning, I got distracted and then..." Khushi trailed off, looking guilty as charged.
"I've told you so many times, Khushi! Take care of yourself! Atleast when we were in Mumbai, I could do it, and I thought you would be responsible here!"
"Let's go back, Mahesh." Khushi suddenly said.
"What?"
"I don't want to stay here. Every second, it's too much. And yesterday, I asked him for a divorce and he said no. I just want it all to go away." Khushi hung her head, tears making their mark on her cheek.
Then it occurred to Mahesh. "You haven't told him the truth, have you Khushi?" Mahesh's face was grim.
Khushi sighed. "No..." Suddenly she looked up at Mahesh, her eyes glinting. "You won't either! Promise me!" She grasped his hands in hers.
Mahesh smiled and ruffled her hair, his eyes looking pained. "Khushi, I promise to keep your life in a way it's best for you. I promise to always do what's best for you."
Khushi smiled. "Thank you Doctor Sharma."
"My pleasure, Mrs. Raizada." Mahesh responded as Hari Prakash entered with food.
"Eat up, Khushi. I'll be right back." Mahesh ordered.
---
Seeing that Khushi began eating, Mahesh headed out the room. He had to talk to Arnav.
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Chapter 17: Retrospect
It was easier to breathe now. Her thoughts were jumbled though. So she sorted through them.
The door bell rang through and echoed in her new flat. It was half empty because of the lack of furniture there was.
Khushi stood up from among the pile of clothes she was organizing, wondering who it could be. She walked to the door and opened the door to a lean, beautiful woman with a head of wild curls. Right behind her there was a rather handsome and heavily built man.
"Hi!" The lean woman smiled and put her hand out to Khushi. "You're new here, right? I'm Monisha and this is my husband, Rohan." The woman pointed to the man behind her. "We live in the flat next door and we wanted to welcome you."
Khushi smiled in response and shook her hand. It felt good to know there were still good people in the world. Khushi invited them in and Monisha presented her a box of sweets.
Thanking her, Khushi opened the box and her mouth opened. "Jalebi!" She exclaimed.
Monisha looked varily at her husband before looking back at Khushi. "You don't like them?" She asked, slightly disappointed.
"No! I mean yes! I mean I love jalebis! They're my favorite!" Khushi corrected her.
"Really?!" Monisha exclaimed, unable to contain her excitement. Behind her, Rohan rolled his eyes and went off to explore the new flat. "They're my favorite too!"
"Sach?!" Khushi was equally excited. "Do you make them?"
Monisha frowned. "No, I'm bad at cooking."
"You love jalebis and you don't know how to make them?" Khushi exclaimed.
"No." Monisha looked crestfallen.
"No problem! Khushi Kumari Gupta Sigh Raizada will teach you how to make the perfect jalebis!"
Their friendship had started there. An entire day spent baking batches and batches of jalebis, while Rohan sat at table giving his commentary on each batch.
***
"Khushi?" Monisha sat next to her and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?"
Khushi remained silent and a lone tear fell from her eye. Rohan came and sat on the other side of Khushi.
"Khushi? Where is your husband? Did he leave you Khushi? Does he know you're pregnant?"
Khushi broke down then. That night was the night for stories and Khushi's story weaved a stronger bond between Monisha, Rohan, and her.
***
"What is this?" Khushi frowned at the green in front of her.
"A salad." Monisha beamed.
"Salad matlaab?"
"Matlaab, from now on you'll be eating healthy!"
"But-"
"No buts! Now eat."
"You should try some, Khushi. It's the only thing she cooks well." Rohan winked at Khushi before a flying wooden spoon hit him in the chest.
***
"Call me Mahesh, please. You can drop the 'Ji'." Khushi smiled and agreed. His presence was so comforting.
"Alright then Mahesh. Your wish." Khushi replied.
***
"Khushi?" Mahesh called from outside the door.
She opened it and beamed. "I'm ready."
"Good, get Shiv." He replied. "And please hurry! Mom is cooking tonight and she'll have a lot to feed us, so the earlier we get there, the more time we have to eat her 101 dishes." He joked.
***
"Oh so you're THE Mahesh." Monisha eyed him up and down jokingly.
"Yes, that will be me." He replied, completely at ease.
Monisha turned to Khushi. "Alright you two go ahead, Shiv will be safe with me."
***
"Khushi, I know that I'm supposed to be the one putting positivity into you, but we can't wait anymore." Mahesh sounded frustrated.
"I know..." Khushi whispered.
"You have to make a choice..." He replied, his voice softer now.
"I'll go to Delhi." Her reply was confident, her spirit unwavering."
***
Khushi's head felt heavy, but she let it sink into the soft pillow beneath her. Her eyes refused to open and she was fine with that. She wasn't ready to face things just yet.
---
Arnav watched her slowly sink her head into the pillow more comfortably. He stroked her hand which he held tight in his own and shut his eyes.
I'm here to get a divorce!
The words echoed in his mind over and over again. She didn't mean it, he told himself. There was no way.
The faster I get, the faster I can go back!
Back to what? Why would she return to him if it was to leave him. He had made a promise to himself that he'll never let her go, and he was going to follow through with it. She wasn't ever leaving him. Not anymore.
You can have Shiv.
Why? She was hiding something. Khushi would never leave Shiv. He had seen the way she held him, the way she looked at her baby. No, she wasn't that type of a mother.
"Is she prone to fainting?" The doctor asked. Arnav nodded. Only he knew how many times Khushi had fainted before him.
"Well, in some situations nose bleeds could occur from stress or some natural cause. I'm injected some sedatives into her system so she'll stay calm while her blood pressure comes to a steady rate.Don't worry, Mr. Raizada, she'll be fine." The doctor concluded.
The family couldn't put their finger on what situation would cause Khushi so much stress to faint. They were contemplating that downstairs, while Arnav stroked Khushi's hand over and over again. He was contemplating something else.
How could he get her to stay? Or was it too late?
The door bell rang through and echoed in her new flat. It was half empty because of the lack of furniture there was.
Khushi stood up from among the pile of clothes she was organizing, wondering who it could be. She walked to the door and opened the door to a lean, beautiful woman with a head of wild curls. Right behind her there was a rather handsome and heavily built man.
"Hi!" The lean woman smiled and put her hand out to Khushi. "You're new here, right? I'm Monisha and this is my husband, Rohan." The woman pointed to the man behind her. "We live in the flat next door and we wanted to welcome you."
Khushi smiled in response and shook her hand. It felt good to know there were still good people in the world. Khushi invited them in and Monisha presented her a box of sweets.
Thanking her, Khushi opened the box and her mouth opened. "Jalebi!" She exclaimed.
Monisha looked varily at her husband before looking back at Khushi. "You don't like them?" She asked, slightly disappointed.
"No! I mean yes! I mean I love jalebis! They're my favorite!" Khushi corrected her.
"Really?!" Monisha exclaimed, unable to contain her excitement. Behind her, Rohan rolled his eyes and went off to explore the new flat. "They're my favorite too!"
"Sach?!" Khushi was equally excited. "Do you make them?"
Monisha frowned. "No, I'm bad at cooking."
"You love jalebis and you don't know how to make them?" Khushi exclaimed.
"No." Monisha looked crestfallen.
"No problem! Khushi Kumari Gupta Sigh Raizada will teach you how to make the perfect jalebis!"
Their friendship had started there. An entire day spent baking batches and batches of jalebis, while Rohan sat at table giving his commentary on each batch.
***
"Khushi?" Monisha sat next to her and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?"
Khushi remained silent and a lone tear fell from her eye. Rohan came and sat on the other side of Khushi.
"Khushi? Where is your husband? Did he leave you Khushi? Does he know you're pregnant?"
Khushi broke down then. That night was the night for stories and Khushi's story weaved a stronger bond between Monisha, Rohan, and her.
***
"What is this?" Khushi frowned at the green in front of her.
"A salad." Monisha beamed.
"Salad matlaab?"
"Matlaab, from now on you'll be eating healthy!"
"But-"
"No buts! Now eat."
"You should try some, Khushi. It's the only thing she cooks well." Rohan winked at Khushi before a flying wooden spoon hit him in the chest.
***
"Call me Mahesh, please. You can drop the 'Ji'." Khushi smiled and agreed. His presence was so comforting.
"Alright then Mahesh. Your wish." Khushi replied.
***
"Khushi?" Mahesh called from outside the door.
She opened it and beamed. "I'm ready."
"Good, get Shiv." He replied. "And please hurry! Mom is cooking tonight and she'll have a lot to feed us, so the earlier we get there, the more time we have to eat her 101 dishes." He joked.
***
"Oh so you're THE Mahesh." Monisha eyed him up and down jokingly.
"Yes, that will be me." He replied, completely at ease.
Monisha turned to Khushi. "Alright you two go ahead, Shiv will be safe with me."
***
"Khushi, I know that I'm supposed to be the one putting positivity into you, but we can't wait anymore." Mahesh sounded frustrated.
"I know..." Khushi whispered.
"You have to make a choice..." He replied, his voice softer now.
"I'll go to Delhi." Her reply was confident, her spirit unwavering."
***
Khushi's head felt heavy, but she let it sink into the soft pillow beneath her. Her eyes refused to open and she was fine with that. She wasn't ready to face things just yet.
---
Arnav watched her slowly sink her head into the pillow more comfortably. He stroked her hand which he held tight in his own and shut his eyes.
I'm here to get a divorce!
The words echoed in his mind over and over again. She didn't mean it, he told himself. There was no way.
The faster I get, the faster I can go back!
Back to what? Why would she return to him if it was to leave him. He had made a promise to himself that he'll never let her go, and he was going to follow through with it. She wasn't ever leaving him. Not anymore.
You can have Shiv.
Why? She was hiding something. Khushi would never leave Shiv. He had seen the way she held him, the way she looked at her baby. No, she wasn't that type of a mother.
"Is she prone to fainting?" The doctor asked. Arnav nodded. Only he knew how many times Khushi had fainted before him.
"Well, in some situations nose bleeds could occur from stress or some natural cause. I'm injected some sedatives into her system so she'll stay calm while her blood pressure comes to a steady rate.Don't worry, Mr. Raizada, she'll be fine." The doctor concluded.
The family couldn't put their finger on what situation would cause Khushi so much stress to faint. They were contemplating that downstairs, while Arnav stroked Khushi's hand over and over again. He was contemplating something else.
How could he get her to stay? Or was it too late?
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Chapter 16: The Revelation
“And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out
your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter— they are so rusty,
so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped
dark inside you so long.”-Sylvia Plath
She picked herself up off the floor, feeling slightly light headed. Staring at her own reflection on the crystal surface of the pool, she- for the first time in a long time- questioned Devi Maiya. Why? Oh please tell me why? But the answer that swirled into her head was the same one. Fate. It's all destiny. It can't be changed. And the only person Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada backed down to without a fight was to her idol, her Devi Maiya.
Closing her eyes, she let the last of them fall, the tears she had been holding in for so long. Swiftly, she wiped her cheeks clean and let the rest of day daze by. Sometimes slow, sometimes fast. She couldn't even hold her child for more then 10 minutes at a time because he was the new hero of the house. The center of attention. Whether it was sometimes Payal, sometimes Nani, sometimes Mami, or sometimes Di, her baby never came to her. Such a small being had instantly become such a big part.
Khushi resisted looking at the clock in the late hours of the afternoon. She leaned against the window, closed her eyes, and let her skin soak in the warmth of the sun. Her head throbbed but she ignored it. Time was passing. Not one tick of the clock escaped her ears. Slowly, as if it were mocking her, the needles moved toward 8. The time of truth.
---
Arnav's changed attitude on this certain day was not missed by his employees. Maybe he started taking something else instead of insulin they commented. And that evening when Arnav smiled at the doorman as he left for home, the people concluded that he had truly lost it or turned to pharmaceutical help.
Truth was Arnav Singh Raizada had won. Everything he could ask for. Tonight he was going to make sure of it. He was going to put together the part of his heart that he had ripped out and thrown away. That part of his heart had come back to him, giving him another chance, and tonight he was going to heal what he had wounded.
---
Di had taken Shiv away from Khushi, as she was aware of her dinner plans. So Kushi sat alone. Sometimes, she would jump to her feet, ignoring her weak body's protest. She would pace the length of the room as plans brewed in her head. Nothing, however, could help her plan this without doing what she least wanted to do. As much as she hated it, she couldn't do this without hurting him.
The clock did its job without complaint, telling her that time was moving and not waiting for her. This time she would have to tell him the truth- or as much as she could of it. Grabbing her phone, Khushi typed out a text message asking for help and send it. This action soothed her, made her feel like she wasn't alone in this battle.
Then she heard the doorbell. Keeping her phone aside, Khushi sat down on the bed. Waiting.
---
Arnav was told Khushi was in her room and Shiv was with Nani. With a smirk he headed towards her door.
---
Khushi didn't look up as the door opened. She sat staring at her palms and she noticed how they lightly shook.
"Khushi?" He called to her. His voice, the love in it, she memorized it. She etched it into her heart because she knew those lips would never say her name with that emotion ever again. Not after tonight.
She looked up and managed a smile. He told her it was time to go and she went with him without complaint. She was dressed to perfection, he noticed, the simplicity in her look highlighting her beauty. The navy blue sari was an excellent compliment to her complexion. Arnav noticed that look in her eyes again. The distant, almost pained look that he didn't like kept flashing through her hazel orbs.
And with every step she took to the door of the Raizada mansion, she hated herself. She was leading him on, giving him hope. She was supposed to be honest! As they walked through the door, towards his car, Khushi stopped. The skies were foreboding, keeping in the storm that was to come.
"Arnavji?" Her voice shook but she kept her gaze on him steady.
"Kya hua, Khushi?" He turned. That look he disliked was settled in her eyes now, her voice shook. She must be nervous about dinner, he told himself. But there was something about her gaze on him, something about her stance that scared him.
"I- Uh... I need to talk." She said. Her voice cimbed an octave.
"We can talk during dinner, Khushi..." Why was she being so... so indirect?
"No. No, we can't go to dinner. We shouldn't go."
"Khushi, what-"
"Its wrong! We need to talk before anything more happens."
Her tone, the way her fists were now clenched onto her sari, it all worried him. There was an eerie feeling at the back of his mind which he tried to ignore as he waited for her reply."Wrong how? Khushi, tell me what you need to say clearly."
"Don't you want to know why I came back?" Her voice was frail.
That was what she needed to talk about? "Because of Shiv..." He started, but the look in her eyes faltered his confidence. "Right?"
Her vision blurred as she tried to speak. "No."
"What... No? Khushi..." There were tears in her eyes. He wanted to grab her shoulders and make her explain what was going on. But he didn't. He stood rooted as he looked at her unfathomable expression.
"I..." She stopped. She dropped her gaze as she spoke her next words. "I came back to ask you... to ask you..." She had to do this. "To ask you for a divorce."
The words were wrong. They sounded as if she should have never formed a sentence with them. It hurt her, how they sounded. But what was said, was said, and she couldn't take it back, she couldn't change fate.
And there stood he. Not responding. Looking like a child who didn't quite understand the happenings of life. He stood staring at her, his eyes flickering through screens of emotions.
This was supposed to be his second chance. No one was going to take it away from him, not even Khushi. He wasn't going to let her.
"No." He responded. She looked up, confused at his response. He took a step towards her. "Khushi, no, we're going to fix whatever happened. I'm going to fix this."
She took a step back. "N-No." She needed to get this over with. Why was he being like this? Why was he arguing with her?
"Khushi, don't be ridicu-"
"I'm not asking you for one. I'm telling you." She looked him in the eyes, using every ounce of strength her heart could muster.
"Khushi, please-"
"I'm here to get a divorce. The faster I get it, the faster I can go back." She saw it then and she hated herself. The last time she had seen this look was a year ago and even then she had been indirectly the cause of it.
Arnav took the necessary steps towards her before grabbing her shoulders. "What are you saying, Khushi? Khushi, listen to me, please? I can fix this, Khushi. We don't have to do this."
"I don't want you to fix it!" Khushi hadn't meant to shout the words. His promises, they were so appealing. She wanted to believe him, but she couldn't. She couldn't because this time the problem was beyond his control.
Arnav stared at her. Why was she doing this. She had no right! He was going to fix things, couldn't she see? What about Shiv? How could she want to ruin his life?
"Khushi, what are you saying?" He shook her by the shoulders, his own voice loud. "Why would you want to do this? What about Shiv?!" He shouted the last sentence.
Khushi squeezed her eyes shut at his last question. It was for Shiv that she was doing this. It was so that Shiv could be happy. But he couldn't know that. Not yet. So she kept her eyes shut as she said the words that shook her to the core. "You can have Shiv. I won't fight over him, or try to be a part of his life."
Arnav's hands repelled off Khushi's shoulders as she spoke. Anger- hot rage- overtook him. "What kind of a mother are you?" He spat his words. And Khushi flinched as she spoke.
"It's for his own good-"
"-No don't you dare! Don't you dare claim this for his own good! A mother leaving her child IS NEVER FOR ITS GOOD!" Arnav couldn't control his rage as the demons of his past came to haunt him. "Don't you dare talk like you are doing this for him."
Khushi stood still as she let her words do their work on Arnav. At last, he was reacting like she expected him to. It was necessary, she told herself. This hurt couldn't possibly be greater than what was to come if she had stayed.
Arnav watched her as she stood motionless, reaction less. "How could you, Khushi?" He sneered before he stormed back into the house. He couldn't stand the sight of her anymore.
---
Khushi stood still as he left her. As the sky darkened, she stood there and she shut her eyes. As the first drop of rain hit her cheek, she collapsed onto her knees. And as the rain started to pour down, her body fell and hit the ground. Limp, cold, and barely retaining life.
---
As the sky darkened, Arnav paced back and forth by the pool. As the first drop of rain hit his cheek, he realized that he had done this too many times. Too many times, he had walked away and let her go without an explanation. That couldn't happen this time, for he was being given a second chance. And as the rain started to pour down, he ran back to where he had left her. Except he didn't find his Khushi there. He found the blue figure that lay on the ground as the rain weathered her away.
---
"Khushi? Khushi!"
Her body was still as the rain beat against it. He ran towards her, falling beside her. Her body was limp as he tried to lift her into his arms.
"Khushi? What happened? Khushi!"
That's when he saw it. As he picked her up and laid her on his lap, he saw it. The trickle of blood that trailed from her nose, which was now being washed away by the rain.
"Khushi!"
His heart was stone cold. Yet with steady hands he lifted her body and ran towards the house, out of the rain. He laid her on the couch as he yelled for Hari Prakash. Payal was the first to reach him.
"Kya hua? Khushi! Arnavji, what happened?!"
Payal rushed to her sister's side. As she frantically grabbed her cold hands and rubbed warmth into them, she too noticed the blood.
"Chotte! Yeh saab? Kya hua, Chotte?"
Nani, followed by Anjali walked into the commotion. Arnav had no time to reply as the family doctor was being called on his phone. Ending the call he fell on his knees next to her.
"Khushi, open your eyes. Please?"
And Arnav Singh Raizada realized that for the first time, life had given him a second chance and he had failed to fully take chance of it.
Arnav Singh Raizada had not won, but lost.
---
The Sari: Here and Here
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